Ok, so after some joking and joshing with my fellow Torch Members and wrestling fans, I decided to put my money where my mouth was and review this flick. Here's what my thoughts are after this 90 minute adventure through an overacted, plot-hole filled mess. To put it lightly.
I won't hit every point here because that would take to long but to be quite honest, just to put it out there, this wasn't the worst movie I've seen. Far from it. BUT, it's so filled with plot holes and horrible actors that it's hard not to laugh at the horrible cliche's and moronic characters. You'll see what I mean in a minute.
We start out with "Ray Ray", AKA Triple H as our main character getting out of prison after a 7 year sentence. He ends up meeting up with a former "friend" and ends up STEALING HIS CAR after getting out of prison. Seriously, this is the logic shown throughout the entire flick. Get used to it.
So he goes back to his old house and runs into his ex-wife who isn't to please to see him. Neither is his daughter. I wonder why? Either way, throughout the movie we see Ray (As he likes to be called now) trying to better himself by reading spiritual books and talking to a lady over the phone who apparently has her own radio show. While he's using this "Self Discovery" book to better himself he actually ends up getting back with his friends to... Wait for it... Rob another bank!
Now to backtrack a bit, Ray ends up going to his daughters school and talk to her. She'll have nothing of it, but instead he ends up breaking up a fight and one of the teachers asks him to chaperone. Brilliant idea, not knowing who this huge dude is who just walked on campus. Ugh. Annnnnd we're only 15 minutes in.
Either way, he ends up being the driver for his buddies (How he got thrown in jail in the first place) but leaves them while they rob the bank to go on the school trip. The bank ends up being TWENTY FEET from the school. Seriously, how lucky is that? So he gets on the bus as his buddies run after him since he still has the keys. The one with the money ends up tripping and it gets mixed in with the students bags. Clever right? No, I didn't think so either.
Looks like these kids are supposed to be in middle school but man are they pretty mean for middle schoolers. Even the daughter is a bit of a witch at first. But that's besides the point. She's mad that her Dad ends up being the "Chaperone" of the trip but hey, the teachers are dumb enough to let him on without checking out who he is. What a great school huh? So shennanigins ensue and before you know it, the robber-friends of Ray end up calling the school to track down where the bus is going. Hard to believe, yes, but that's how the movie has been going.
To skip ahead a bit now the movie ends up being a chase with Ray's old robber friends following him and the class on there field trip to New Orleans. Really, that wraps up the middle of the movie. That's it. Ray try's to get them their money but they don't trust him and eventually things hit the fan when Ray like a typical stupid parent takes his daughter (Sally by the way) to dinner and then ends up getting her mixed up in the whole mess. Seriously, he even tells her at age 13 or so, to GO GET THE BAG OF MONEY FROM THE BUS. Really? As the Miz would say, REALLY? But yes, really. (Although as I text PW Torch's own Sean Radican, he's watching the Jersey Shore Reunion Show. Sorry Sean, I'd amazingly, rather watch this. >.<)
Eventually the cops get word of the robbery and try hunting down all three men. Sally ends up getting back to her classmates and they try to help Ray out when he gets taken by the bad guys. In reality, the whole movie wasn't about them taking Sally. That portion of the movie didn't last long at all. They end up getting him after a mix up with the bag (Who didn't see that coming? I'm horrible at predicting movies and saw that coming!) and Sally with her friends (Including some REALLY annoying kids, so annoying I can't even put it into words.) come to the rescue. This one kid literally has fireworks in his bag. How the hell does that get by teachers?
But of course they end up saving the day after some typical slapstick comedy before Ray is reunited with his daughter and the bad guys get caught. The end. Pretty much. Except for at the end his ex-wife COMES BACK TO HIM. My outrage is because the new husband she had was a nice guy. Yet, stereotypically, she leaves for the bad boy. Not that Ray's character wasn't a changed man, he was, but that poor dude she married did everything for her. But I digress.
The movie ends and there you have it. The Chaperone.
Common Movie-going Perspective:
Really, this wasn't a TERRIBLE movie. Like I said in the beginning, it's by far not the worst I've seen. Triple H is actually a very passable actor and I enjoyed most of the scenes he was in. And to his credit, he made the movie watchable. The daughter wasn't terrible either, but just over the top at times. The rest of the cast in my personal opinion was average at best with the kids not strong at all except in minor cases and the adults were downright bad at times. The bad guys weren't convincing at all yet the lead was in Pineapple Express and I know he's got better performances in him. So while I was really critical of this movie going in, I come out with a positive feeling with Triple H's performance with the entire flick being held down due to a terrible plot with tons of holes and no logic from adults whatsoever. Really, all of the characters were morons 75% of the time to 100% of the time. But with that said, I'll sum this up by saying that I'm glad I stuck to my guns and reviewed this, my first experience with WWE Films. The story despite the holes was simple, yet very cliche' and unoriginal. But for a simple family movie, it was fine and to my surprise, very little PG bathroom humor. So kudos to WWE there. I hope they have better in them plot/story wise in the future because unlike what the trailer says, "It's better than Kindergarten Cop!". No. No, it's not. Thanks for reading!
Rating- ** (Out of 5)
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-Jimmy Eaton
PW Torch Specialist
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